Naming update

[eirias]

Graham, as our lovely JP suggested, went to the DMV yesterday without Social Security paperwork to get the license. He got most of the way through the process without question... until it came to the point where they needed to put the new name actually in the system.

Graham: "Just confirming -- I want to be GLast, First Middle ELast."

"What? Oh, we have you down as ELast GLast, First Middle."

"That's not right."

"OK, hang on." *tries some stuff*

"Not working." *tries some stuff again*

"Have you been to the Social Security Administration yet?" Uh-oh. Graham tells the story.

Guy is sympathetic, but: "I wonder whether this software checks their database and requires a match in order to do this?" Gives up; Graham comes home with a license in what is patently the wrong name. Now what?

On Monday he will have a car and he will try to go to the SSA and work it out again, but I fear that the problem will only be worse, because now he's going to want to change to a name that's very clearly not on his driver's license. And now he thinks he's going to be on a bunch of watch lists for rapid-fire name changes. I say that's malarkey because a quick glance at the substance will make it clear that it's a bureaucratic screwup, but then again common sense is a whole lot less common than malarkey when dealing with watch lists.

Sigh. The whole thing is stupid and wouldn't have happened without a sexist infrastructure. I so rarely encounter such obvious sexism that it always takes me by surprise, even though I know other people's experiences are different.

I also think that the DMV dude's explanation for why it wasn't working was just plain wrong. There was also no entry for ELast Glast, First Middle -- and yet that worked out just fine. I think "a DMV database made on the cheap way too long ago and implemented without adequate staff training" probably has more to do with it...

Comments

[eldan.livejournal.com]

*sigh*

Sadly, I'm sure you're right about the incompetence there. Meanwhile, G has a passport, right? That ought to help in explaining the situation to Social Security, who in my experience are among the very few US entities that actually take passports seriously as ID.

There is one reason why he's probably safe from any watch list worries: agencies still don't talk to each other, so the chances are no-one outside the state DMV will ever know about the interim, wrongly-named licence he has right now.

[eirias.livejournal.com]

Yes, we both have passports. I'm just worried that the SSA will be jackholes about it, now that their talent toward that end has been demonstrated, and that they'll insist that the license only proves he is known as ELast Glast, First Middle (which he isn't, by anyone) and that they still need proof that he is known the right way.

I wonder if it would help if I went in to show the way my name appears? Probably not, is my guess :/.

[sam16.livejournal.com]

Just curious - how common is it in this country to have two middle names? I guess it's not too uncommon if you were able to successfully change your Social Security ID to have two middle names, but I wonder if it confuses people who haven't seen it before.

[eirias.livejournal.com]

I don't know how common it is, and my DMV clerk was certainly confused ;), but it does happen. ukelele now has three, IIRC. darlox, do you have 2 or did you jettison the original?

[gieves.livejournal.com]

I believe he jettisoned the original. I encouraged him to keep it because I liked it, but he didn't.

My brother has always had two official middle names. Since we don't call him by his given name anyway, he unofficially has three. (My parents made up for not giving me one at all to start.)

[kirin]

My *Mom* has had two since she got married (the second being her maiden name like yours). So it's not like this has never happened before.

(Of course, my Dad didn't try to change his - I can only imagine how much more confused people might have been 30 years ago...)

[feuervogel]

I wonder if they've ever received mail for Dr & Mrs E... especially considering they're both Dr. -_-

[madmanatw.livejournal.com]

My brother was given two middle names at birth, and as far as I know has never had any problems with them. Except perhaps with the preponderance of forms with one space available for "middle initial", in which case I think he just puts the first middle name's initial.

[ukelele.livejournal.com]

(I now have three, I started with two. I almost never use my middle names or initials for anything at this point, though my full name does appear on my passport. When I had two middle names I used both middle initials all the time. This would occasionally not work -- eg the SATs only have one middle initial blank -- sometimes it would come out right if I put Firstname MI#1 in the first name blank and MI#2 in the middle initial blank, sometimes it wouldn't. But no one ever told me it was weird or anything. On the other hand I didn't have as much documentation at that age.)

[sam16.livejournal.com]

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm cool with you guys doing what works for you - but after hearing these stories, I'm kinda glad Carrie and I went the "normal", boring way. :) It honestly didn't matter to me one way or the other, so I left it up to Carrie. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: So what do you want to do about your last name?
Her: I'll just take your last name.
Me: Cool.

[eirias.livejournal.com]

I think my own decision could have been different given a different relationship, a different set of in-law relationships, a different stage of my career, even different names at stake. A lot of decisions like this are so chaotic and haphazard now that tradition isn't even that much of a pull for me -- I mean, genealogists of the future will have to cope with the fact that for maybe 20 years, about 25-30% of women haven't done what used to be expected. So I think it's proper for it to be completely an individual, case-by-case thing.

(I will say that people like y'all were much easier to address stuff to when sending out wedding invitations. Blended families are the worst.)

[ukelele.livejournal.com]

Heck, genealogists of the present already have to deal with very different naming conventions in different countries.

[eirias.livejournal.com]

True :). I think the Icelandic model is my favorite. Everyone gets a patronymic and people are alphabetized by first name in the phone book.