Losing my shit
Jul. 27th, 2006 10:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eiriasI am so angry it's hard to describe.
So, got married, right? State of Wisconsin provides for name change by common-use; if you, e.g., get married and want to change your name, you don't need to show up in court or anything silly like that. Just bring your marriage cert around, show it to people, get documents changed, bada bing, bada boom. Canonical order, in my understanding: SSA, DMV, then everybody else -- because the DMV asks for the SSA receipt and everyone else asks for your license.
Each of us wants to change to "HisLast, First Middle MyLast." Keeps my family name going for a bit but unambiguously unites us. Nice compromise, not too sexist. (My idea, for any lurkers who think the name change is evidence that I married an eeeevil member of the patriarchy. I had to talk him into it, actually.)
Yesterday: me, SSA; passport, marriage cert, SS card, app form. Get in line, get form filled out, no questions asked. Showed receipt to the DMV; got new license. Everything A-OK.
Today: him, SSA: passport, marriage cert, SS card, app form. "I'm sorry, we need proof that you are known as First Middle MyLast HisLast." What? Argument goes nowhere. I call; woman is simperingly unhelpful. I explain that the difference in our experiences can only be chalked up to one thing. She retreats to the claim that they made a mistake in helping me at all (a lie, AFAICT from others' experiences) and refuses to budge, saying that in order to make the change she needs, oh, a court order or a driver's license. I yell and hang up.
Call a few other places; we have some strategies for attacking this. He'll try the DMV sans SSA receipt and see what happens. We called the judge who married us, who is unambiguously on our side and willing to issue a court order saying, Hello, idiot, I married these guys and will vouch for his name change. Which apparently carries no charge. Which is nice, because a name-change-by-court-order (a different animal altogether) is costly.
Sexist asshole fucknuts. How dare they! How dare they attend to state law only when my decision fits in with their preconceptions! Oh, I forgot -- apparently I don't need to prove that I am known by this new name because as a married woman I am automatically MY HUSBAND'S FUCKING PROPERTY.
If you'd seen me with the moths, lady, you wouldn't fuck with me. I am a murderous bitch when you get me riled.
So, got married, right? State of Wisconsin provides for name change by common-use; if you, e.g., get married and want to change your name, you don't need to show up in court or anything silly like that. Just bring your marriage cert around, show it to people, get documents changed, bada bing, bada boom. Canonical order, in my understanding: SSA, DMV, then everybody else -- because the DMV asks for the SSA receipt and everyone else asks for your license.
Each of us wants to change to "HisLast, First Middle MyLast." Keeps my family name going for a bit but unambiguously unites us. Nice compromise, not too sexist. (My idea, for any lurkers who think the name change is evidence that I married an eeeevil member of the patriarchy. I had to talk him into it, actually.)
Yesterday: me, SSA; passport, marriage cert, SS card, app form. Get in line, get form filled out, no questions asked. Showed receipt to the DMV; got new license. Everything A-OK.
Today: him, SSA: passport, marriage cert, SS card, app form. "I'm sorry, we need proof that you are known as First Middle MyLast HisLast." What? Argument goes nowhere. I call; woman is simperingly unhelpful. I explain that the difference in our experiences can only be chalked up to one thing. She retreats to the claim that they made a mistake in helping me at all (a lie, AFAICT from others' experiences) and refuses to budge, saying that in order to make the change she needs, oh, a court order or a driver's license. I yell and hang up.
Call a few other places; we have some strategies for attacking this. He'll try the DMV sans SSA receipt and see what happens. We called the judge who married us, who is unambiguously on our side and willing to issue a court order saying, Hello, idiot, I married these guys and will vouch for his name change. Which apparently carries no charge. Which is nice, because a name-change-by-court-order (a different animal altogether) is costly.
Sexist asshole fucknuts. How dare they! How dare they attend to state law only when my decision fits in with their preconceptions! Oh, I forgot -- apparently I don't need to prove that I am known by this new name because as a married woman I am automatically MY HUSBAND'S FUCKING PROPERTY.
If you'd seen me with the moths, lady, you wouldn't fuck with me. I am a murderous bitch when you get me riled.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-27 10:06 pm (UTC)"Oh, I'm sure I already have a couple somewhere."
"Hey, I never thought of that! LET'S GO FUCK!"
"I dunno. When are you going to learn to mind your business?"
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-28 05:29 am (UTC)