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[eirias]

Random thought of the moment: Lots of people have observed that frustrated idealists often become cynics. I think this is because to a frustrated idealist, cynicism can be really comforting -- and not just in that "if I have low expectations I'll never be disappointed," raging self-pity way. Idealists may have expectations of the world that the world doesn't quite meet; there's this mass of data that conflicts with expectations and it can be excruciatingly uncomfortable for the kind of person who cares about that sort of thing. Cynicism takes that data and provides context -- in the thoughtless, yeah, maybe it'll be of the form "the world fucking sucks," but in the more thoughtful it will involve explanations for why the ideals don't play out the way you think they should and what the heck is motivating all this irritating human behavior, anyway.

This is why I've become confused a couple times recently when good friends have said, "You're startlingly cynical, which is puzzling because you're not simultaneously totally miserable like every other cynic I know." I actually find cynicism refreshing, because there is no way to solve problems you can't understand, and understanding a problem of human behavior is never accomplished by stubbornly insisting that your way is right. Cynicism allows me to put my ideals somewhere safe while the world behaves annoyingly. I don't have to sacrifice them on the altar of reality by smashing them repeatedly into a brick wall -- I'll be the one to decide if they should change. Clever people solve their problems by finding practical ways to turn the world they have into one they can live with, and that's what I will do, in my small way.

Comments

[cognative.livejournal.com]

you still seem pretty idealistic to me. But maybe that's based on outdated data. Though based on personal experience I would say that people can compartmentalize those sorts of things pretty well. I would say I'm idealistic about some things (academia), cynical about others (politics) and skeptical in general.

[eirias.livejournal.com]

Compartmentalization -- very good point. I am pretty cynical about both politics and academia at this point (but still simultaneously idealistic about academia; politics, not so sure) but not cynical about my friends, for instance, or close human relationships in general. I just don't think it pays.