Unpleasantness

[eirias]

Here are some things that are unpleasant and I can't figure out why.

1) Not being understood in conversation. I don't just mean when discussing emotional topics - that seems like less of a mystery to me, because when you're already keyed up, your threshold for further annoyance is probably pretty low. I'm thinking of the times when I'm on the phone with someone and they don't understand my speech or I'm talking at cross-purposes with someone in that "who's on first?" way. When this happens, I always feel this wave of irritation propagate through my consciousness and I have to consciously suppress it, because really, what kind of jerk snaps at a person for bad parsing?

2) Having songs in my head. It's kind of a banal unpleasantness, I guess, but I've never found a good reason for it to be unpleasant at all. I mean, often the songs themselves are just fine, likeable even. And yet I've had days where I walk around with songs on repeat taking up so much brain space that I nearly want to bash my head in just to make it stop, and I try to focus on the traffic or clear my mind and I just can't.

3) Being addressed by two people at once. This happens most often when I am on the phone and someone in the room overhears my conversation and wants to chime in. It's not nearly as bad when I'm on the phone and that same someone tries to get my attention for an unrelated reason, probably because in those cases I have more notice so I can say to the person on the other end, "Hold on a minute."

These are three things that, secretly, deep down, make me irrationally frothy.

Comments

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

2. i was on clonazepam for a couple of years, during which i never once had a song in my head. (with the sole exception of music i was actually working on composing.) when i went off, it came back.

i'm not actually much disturbed by the phenomenon either way, but having it come and go as a drug effect was definitely noticeably weird.

3. i wonder if that is also partly b/c the person in the room chiming in is also kind of adding themselves to what had previously been more of a tete-a-tete?

[eirias.livejournal.com]

2. Fascinating! What neurotransmitters does that drug target? Any idea where the receptors for that NT are densest?

3. It's plausible generally as something that annoys people, but doesn't feel right for me specifically. I don't typically feel like my privacy's been invaded when people butt in - I feel anxious, like I am juggling tomatoes and someone just threw a refrigerator expecting me to catch it. I guess that points to an explanation of "excess cognitive load produces anxiety," but I'm not sure whether I find that a satisfying endpoint.

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

2. it's a benzodiazepine, a gaba-a agonist, but i don't know where its action sites are. i do know that i haven't experienced anything like it on other benzodiazepines, and that i haven't seen that effect reported in the literature. but it does beg some questions, doesn't it?

3. maybe something more, umm, about the integration of the new person of the conversation into the existing conversation -- esp. without the help of the person on the phone, who probably has no idea what's going on -- is a heavier cognitive burden than the task of an entirely separate conversation (which can be put off in a low-demand way)?

[eirias.livejournal.com]

2. yeah, seriously! Particularly if you don't get songs in your head, but can still, e.g., remember the tune and call it to mind on purpose...

3. Ah, I realize I've been unclear - that sounds like a fine explanation for a phenomenon different than the one I meant to describe :). I think the crucial difference, which I did not make at all clear above, is actually not in the different subject matter itself, but in the fact that if it's a different conversation, typically people are polite enough to attempt to get my attention before launching into a discussion. When they are not this polite, I think it may actually irritate me *more*.

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

2. *nod* my musicality overall was entirely unimpaired; it was just the mental soundtrack that went missing. i remembered, learned, and composed music throughout that period, and then when i went off the drug the soundtrack came back. (mine is usually relatively unobtrusive, but it's definitely not GONE like it was on clonazepam.) i do wonder if you'd experience that if you tried that drug, or if it was purely an idiosyncratic response in my case.

[trygve.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I'm guilty of #3 all the time. Sorry if I've ever done that to you.

[eirias.livejournal.com]

*G* I can't recall any such time, but thanks anyway ;).